Chore Division: How to Split Chores with a SAHP and a Working Parent

Household chores are what couples frequently butt heads on. Running a household is a big responsibility. Sometimes it’s one person handles more housework than the other. This creates conflict. So how do we fix this?

When one parent stays at home while the other works outside the home, the division of labor can be challenging. Both parents have roles, right? We need to recognize the value of each other. In this blog post, we’ll explore strategies and tips on how to split household chores effectively between a stay-at-home parent and a working parent.

Understanding Roles and Responsibilities

The first step in splitting household chores is understanding each parent’s roles and responsibilities. While the working parent might be away from home during the day, their contribution to the family is invaluable. They might be the primary breadwinner, manage finances, or handle tasks that require specific expertise or qualifications.

On the other hand, the stay-at-home parent plays a crucial role in managing the household’s day-to-day chores. This might even include childcare, meal preparation, cleaning, laundry, and others. Recognizing and respecting each other’s roles is essential to avoid feelings of resentment.

We need to understand each other so that we can be grateful to our partners and be grateful for the contribution we make to the family. Oftentimes, our partner gets upset primarily because they feel unappreciated, unseen, and used. By giving appreciation and compliments, we can avoid any conflict from arising. 

Open Communication

One key to a happy home is communication, and this applies to household chores as well. Both parents should openly discuss their expectations, preferences, and concerns regarding chores. A regular check-in can help identify any issues or adjustments needed in the chore division.

During these conversations, it’s essential to listen actively and empathetically to each other’s perspectives. We need to stop being defensive if we want this to work. We need to avoid blaming or criticizing and focus on finding solutions that work for both parties. Remember, the goal is to create a supportive and collaborative environment, not to assign blame or create conflict.

Don’t think that the problem is not your partner. The problem is your system. We just have to start opening up.

Identify Strengths and Preferences

Every individual has unique strengths, preferences, and dislikes when it comes to household chores. Your partner might enjoy cooking but dislike doing laundry, while you might find satisfaction in organizing but dread cleaning the bathroom. Identifying your and your partner’s strengths and preferences can help divide chores more effectively.

For example, if the stay-at-home parent enjoys cooking and meal planning, they could take on the responsibility of preparing meals for the family. Meanwhile, the working parent might be responsible for taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, or handling specific tasks on weekends or days off. So it depends on your dynamic as a couple. What works for you? 

Create a Chore Chart or Schedule

A chore chart or schedule can be a practical tool for splitting household chores. It provides a visual representation of each person’s responsibilities and helps ensure that tasks are completed regularly and efficiently. When creating a chore chart:

– List all household chores: Include both daily and weekly tasks such as vacuuming, dusting, laundry, grocery shopping, meal preparation, and childcare.

– Assign responsibilities: Based on each person’s strengths, preferences, and availability, assign specific chores to each parent. Be flexible and willing to make adjustments as needed.

– Set deadlines or timelines: Establish deadlines or timelines for completing each chore to ensure accountability and prevent tasks from piling up.

Share the Load

While it’s essential to divide chores based on each person’s strengths and preferences, it’s also important to share the load and help each other out when needed. For instance, if the stay-at-home parent is feeling overwhelmed with childcare duties, the working parent could offer to help out with meal preparation or cleaning on weekends or after work.

Remember, teamwork makes the dream work! By working together and supporting each other, you can create a balanced and harmonious household where chores are completed efficiently, and everyone feels valued and appreciated.

Be Flexible and Adapt

Life is unpredictable, and there will be times when one parent might need to take on more responsibilities due to work commitments, illness, or other unexpected events. Being flexible and willing to adapt to changing circumstances is crucial in maintaining a healthy and supportive household.

If one parent is unable to complete their chores for any reason, communicate openly and find ways to redistribute tasks or offer support. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help when needed, and showing empathy and understanding towards each other’s challenges can strengthen your partnership and bond.

Conclusion

Remember, the goal is not to achieve perfection but to create a supportive and loving environment where both parents can thrive, and the family can flourish. By working together and supporting each other, you can navigate the challenges of household chores and build a stronger and more resilient family unit.